its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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