they need to just BURY HIM!
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
