She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize