make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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