I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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