I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
