Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
