i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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