This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
