i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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