let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Randomize
