I don't think brook has ever known best
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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