He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
