I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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