dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
tell me about the eggs
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
