am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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