Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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