Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
