Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
