he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
