this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
