He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
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I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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