even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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