He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Houston, we have a squirter
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
