i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
