Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
this hospital has no fireball
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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