Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
