I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
