All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
