you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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