I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
