i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
