this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
