Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I will pee on everything he values.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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