I wish they made helmets for livers.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
