i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
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