you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
