I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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