So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
