I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
