Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize