the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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