My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize