OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
