no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
