im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
