omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
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