Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
