Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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