It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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