I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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