do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
i think i just naturally attract stoners
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
