I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
