Having a random hookup so left but love u
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
