i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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