There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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